waking up on purpose
In Make The Cup of Coffee I discussed using optimism as a tool and not just a way of thinking, in Stuck and Don’t Know What To Do I go over being stuck in a difficult situation or headspace and how to fight against it. These essays lead me into my next point, waking up on purpose. The coffee is an analogy to choosing one thing that supports your wellbeing, to help you feel unstuck. For me, it was literally making a cup of coffee. It got me out of bed. It became routine, something I looked forward to. Even trying new flavor combinations. It is that serious. I understand how minuscule it may appear, however the action of doing something that directly poured into my body was devotional rather than staying trapped under my covers ruminating.
In an attempt to unstick myself, I challenged other parts of my routine to support that one. What can I do before I make my daily glass and what can I do after?
When I am under high amounts of stress, my main focus is taking care of my internal state. I wanted to become more present and tender to my physical body, so I started going to the gym. I practice yoga, but I needed something more vigorous. I did not start going to the gym to reach any physical goals, although I knew eventually I wanted to. I went because somewhere along the way I learned that I do better when I wake up earlier in the day and well, I needed something to do. All I needed was to be able to wake up early enough and do a full hour in the gym with ease. So I kept at it, no matter how difficult it was. If I woke up and did not want to go I would tell myself: Well this is the type of day you’re going to have… or Is this what you think you deserve? I tell you that’ll get my ass up every time. I did not decide to wake up at 5 am because I heard it was good, I chose that time because I constantly woke up early and could not fall back asleep. I felt so frustrated by the fact and chose to use it to my advantage instead of continuing to spend the first few hours of my day in a bad mood. I wake up early because I know now it’s what my body wants.
This is what that looks like: I wake up at 5 am and just sit quietly for a little bit. I don’t scroll and I don’t check any texts. As I begin getting ready for the gym I put on a devotional or a YouTube video. I head to the gym, I go for an hour and a half. I come home collect myself, eat and make my coffee. I dedicate a few hours to my writing and then a few hours to my work.
You can sit and write a daily routine with time stamps and all but know, no matter how motivated you are to do so you will not just be able to wake up the next day before the break of dawn with a burst of energy to do all the things you say you want to do. Holding such an unrealistic expectation for yourself not only reassures any feelings of insecurity but it does not realistically support where you are at in your journey. You are setting yourself up for a period of self deprecation.
I do not recommend you to make a list, or write a routine, or wake up at 5 in the morning. I encourage you to observe yourself, listen to what your body is asking you for and learn what supports your growth. What do you do that eases your stress or releases pent up energy? If nothing, then try new things. What do you want your life to look like? What small things can you do to make it happen? What habits or beliefs stop you from doing the little things? Have the courage to challenge any negative belief you have over yourself, build the strength to let go of what keeps you small. These are real questions I’ve had to ask myself. Be brutally honest, this is for you and nobody else.
Waking up on purpose means deciding, from the moment you wake up, to choose yourself. It does not have to be perfect or all at once. Just enough to carry yourself through the day without leaving yourself behind.