the hermit
I would rather be judged by my means of isolation than my emotions. One I’ve learned to manage, the other I’ve learned to live in. I’ve spent a lot of time learning how to carry myself and today isolation is what remains. It is my means of recalibration. The irony of it all is that I would prefer to be a bit more open. I don’t believe it is the “correct” way to be but it is the way that I am. I have been challenging that fact. I believe in being open enough to experience life and to let others experience you. If I am being brutally honest, my reclusion has become more of a challenge to work around than it is a helpful tool. So I would tell the next person, writer, or artist to not fall into themselves as much. There are a lot of problems that you can encounter interacting with people. You can be hurt, lied to, or you could be rejected. Sure. You can also make the best core memories and meet the people that are meant to be in your life. For the most part, that is the main way the right people will find you, showing yourself. I don’t believe that life is meant to be experienced alone.
Spending all of your time in isolation when overdone can seriously begin to negatively impact your overall state of being. Your mental health will decline, as will your social skills. The way you begin to show up for yourself starts to change. You believe you are adapting to your solitude, but what you’re really doing is restricting yourself from experiencing life fully. You start to adjust small daily tasks in order to fit into this lifestyle of seclusion. It takes more effort to figure out how to do what you need to do all while avoiding things or places that may well make you physically ill. It takes way more out of you to avoid than it is to conquer your discomfort. Isolation becomes debilitating when overdone. There is a certain freedom that comes with not needing any external validation orrisk picking up patterns of codependency.Not worrying about whether or not you are able to go someplace because you prefer to go alone. Not needing to check in with anyone before making a decision. Or simply choosing what trip you want to go on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert, as long as you don’t tuck yourself away from the world completely.
There is such a thing as being too reclusive , when it begins to interfere with the overall state of your life. When you begin keeping yourself from any type of opportunities of growth or you stop yourself from doing things that expose you to new people and things. I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t be an introvert, I’m telling you that you should absolutely not succumb to your solitude.
No matter how good it feels, isolation is not a solid foundation or path towards stability and growth.
I do not believe in having to be an extroverted person if it isn’t you, attempting to play a role you have no business playing you will ultimately fall on your face. Do not get caught up in trying to be something you’re not solely because you know it’s what people respond to. Be yourself. If you are quiet, awkward, or introverted know that there is nothing to correct. However, you should push yourself out of your comfort zone, you should allow people to experience you, and try new things. I am speaking to you as an excessively quiet person, you need to give yourself the space to grow. You can still honor your introversion.
You do yourself a huge disservice by keeping yourself from the world. There are a lot of common areas to explore, where you are surrounded by people who understand the unspoken rules of an introversion. Making it not only easy for you to try new things, but meet new people in a way that doesn’t feel forceful. You’re not surrounded by extroverts. People can be genuinely odd and I promise you, being a little awkward is not the worst thing to be.
There are certain things you simply cannot grow from until you expose yourself to them. If I am too caught up in irrational what-ifs, the only way to know if any of it is true is to put myself in that situation. 99.9% of the time, the irrational thoughts I had did not happen at all. I’ve tried everything and exposure is the only thing that works. Fear is just a feeling. The brutal honesty of it is all of the life you wish to experience is waiting for you to get there, it can’t walk to your front door. It’s physically impossible to.
This is my advice to you as a hermit. I fear if too many people go this far, there’s a lot of life they will miss. There’s a lot of life the world would miss. Instead of trying to make my life as insular as possible, I have had to take an axe to a cement wall in order to allow things into the world I’ve built. I’m learning the two cannot coexist and something has got to give. Do not take it as far as me.
